I think I've posted on here before about my 'Summer of Freedom'. Basically this summer I let go of all the things that I did for other people to be the person I thought they wanted me to be. And it's been amazing how much I've grown personally and spiritually. I just wanted to share and celebrate one of those things with you :)
Growing up, I never really hung out with boys or was more than passing acquaintances with them. I was shy, and I felt that I didn't want to waste my time or anyone else's time if a relationship wasn't going to be very serious. I had a rule that if I could talk myself out of liking a guy within a week, (by pointing out all the ways a relationship wouldn't work/we didn't like the exact same things/ect) than he wasn't 'the one' and I wouldn't even try to be friends with him.
Now I'm all grown up and having to figure out how to interact with guys. There has been a few that I've become good friends with, but I didn't have a crush on them :) But when there is one guy that I don't know very well, but he seems awesome and I'd love to get to know him, I, for the first time in my life, want to enjoy it. I realize that it might not work out, but it might! So when I will find myself looking forward to seeing him, and talking to him, I'll let myself savor the anticipation and enjoy the moment. :)
Note: This whole post is more about the freedom than the crush. I'm still level- headed me. I'm not giving my heart away or letting it shut down my brain. This is about the victory of getting ready to meet a guy or the guy I marry. Because if I don't let myself open up to the fact that it is OK to like a guy, I"ll end up a spinster with 10 cats, 8 horses and my knitting. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't believe that that is where God wants me.
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