School Paper....

I really procrastinated on my paper for my medical terminology class that was due today...mostly it was because I wasn't sure how to used terminology from the cardiovascular, lymphatic, respiratory, digestive, and nervous systems all correctly in a 1 page paper....here's what I came up with, and I hope the professor likes it...

btw, the bold italicized words are my terminology words....

Dear Mom,

Thanks for the letter last week. That story about Jason and Kevin was hilarious. I wish I could have been there to see Julie’s face when she finally realized they are twins…guess they aren’t going to be able to pull anything in school anymore. J

Here is my funny story for the week:

I went to the mall to meet some friends at the food court, and as I’m walking into the mall someone pushed me into a planter. It turned out to be some lady with a big purse who also happens to be a hypochondriac who likes to self-diagnose. I found that our rather quickly, as she asked me if I was ok. I said, “Yeah, I just bumped my knee, but I should be fine.” I expected that she would just apologize and go on with life, but she grabbed me and said, “Oh no! That’s going to leave a hematoma! I’m going to give you some analgesic for the pain.”  I tried to disentangle her, but she clung to me – almost literally, through the doors and into the mall. I’ve learned that she loves to use the correct medical terms, which made it a little difficult to decipher the following conversation, which I swear is word-for-word…

“Oh honey, you had better sit down and make sure there isn’t a laceration, because you wouldn’t want to get septicemia. You never know what little thing could turn into a big issue. Like the time that I aspirated some saliva down my trachea into my lungs. Next thing I know, I’ve got bronchitis and I was in bed for a week. But if you think you will be fine…” Before I could say anything, she started talking again. “Darling, don’t walk so fast. The exercise will give me diaphoresis.” (I gave her a weird look here) “Sweaty, honey, please try to keep up. Plus I’ve got tachycardia and exercise makes it worse.  My internet research also says that I have some stenosis of my pulmonary artery, and I tend to get lightheaded. And then I get a migraine, which started happening after I had some trauma to my head, which resulted in some optic nerve damage. It was the weirdest thing – again, it was something I didn’t think was that big of a deal. But anyway, look at me talking on and on. What are you doing here today?” I wasn’t really sure if I should answer or just run, but I decided to be nice, “Um, just meeting some friends for ice cream.” (I should have just run…) She jumped right back in, “I used to love ice cream, but then every time I ate it, I got indigestion,” she leaned in close, “and then, I started getting diarrhea.” She stopped whispering, “So I went to my allergist and he said that I was allergic to lactose. Of course, that wasn’t much surprise, since every time I get a vaccination, I get a major immune system response. I am just so allergic to everything.” (I was starting to wish she was allergic to me…) Before she could get started again, I got a word in edgewise, “Ma’am, it was really nice to meet you, and I’m grateful for your concern, but I really have to go see my friends now-alone.” I felt really bad because she seemed really disappointed that I was leaving her, but she soon attached herself to someone else walking past.

That’s about the most interesting thing that’s happened this week. School’s going pretty well. Got a couple of papers due this week, so I’m going to stop now.

Tell the twin terrors hi for me.

Love,

Your Daughter